


nothing else but you

by DecemberCamie



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Don't copy to another site, Fluff, Holidays, HxHHoliday2020, KilluGonHolidayPresent, Kissing, M/M, Musicians, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28206207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberCamie/pseuds/DecemberCamie
Summary: “Gon—no.”Killua slaps a hand over Gon’s mouth and Gon makes a startled sound.“Mph!Keewuh—wuh—?”“Idiot, what are you thinking? You can’t sing in public! What if someone hears you?”Gon pries Killua’s hand off his face with a glare. “No one will hear me, the nearest person is twenty feet away! Besides, I don’t care about that. This is for you—for us. No one else matters.”Killua’s heart flips in his chest. “But if someone recognizes you—”“No one else matters,” Gon repeats stubbornly. “I’m not doing this for anyone but you. I’m not singing to a crowd or in a studio for a fancy recording, I’m singing a song I wrote for my boyfriend because it’s the holidays and I care about him! What’s wrong with that?”
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 30
Kudos: 178
Collections: KilluGon "A Gift From Me To You" Holiday Event





	nothing else but you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xyliane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xyliane/gifts), [trashsketch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashsketch/gifts), [sxh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxh/gifts).



A familiar green hoodie is all Killua needs to see to have his heart skipping a beat. 

He breaks out into a sprint. “Gon!” he shouts, grinning as he drags Alluka behind him and ducks in between strangers. “Hey— _Gon!”_

Gon turns. Killua can spot the huge smile spreading across his freckled face even through the crowd of bustling holiday go-ers. 

“Killua!”

He takes off in their direction. Killua drops Alluka’s hand and runs. His heart is pounding, his breath shuddering, his feet landing hard on the tile—

They crash into each other and the air is knocked out of Killua’s lungs. They stumble backwards but Gon grabs Killua around the middle and spins him around. The world is a multicolored blur, Killua’s heartbeat is thudding in his ears. In this moment, nothing matters as much as _this_ —Gon, laughing in his ear—Gon, his warm arms pressed against Killua’s—Gon, his pine scent that always remained Killua of home—

Gon, who Killua loves desperately. 

After a few more dizzying circles, Gon carefully lowers Killua back to the floor. His grin is so wide that his brown eyes are little crescent moons. “Killua! You’re here—you’re really, really here!”

Killua’s cheeks ache from the force of his smile. “I am, Gon.”

Gon giggles. “Killua!”

“Gon,” Killua echos back, trying to school his expression into something not overly joyous and failing. 

_“Killua!”_

“Gon!”

Gon laughs. He surges forward and kisses Killua right on the lips. Killua lets out a startled noise in the back of his throat before letting his eyes fall shut. He softens the kiss, sliding his hands up to cup Gon’s cheeks as he angles his head. Gon’s mouth is warm and Killua burns with the need to never separate again. 

Gon hums happily. He lifts Killua into the air again, until only Killua’s toes are touching the ground. 

Killua squeaks. He pulls away and grabs Gon’s shoulders. “Gon! Stop, you’re gonna make me fall!” 

“I’d never let that happen, Ki-llu-a!” 

Gon grins but he lets Killua down. Killua sighs shakily and presses his forehead against Gon’s. Shining, soft brown eyes look back at him. And for the first time in months, several feet underground, in the middle of a crowded subway station, Killua’s soul finally breathes.

“I missed you,” Killua’s whispers, his grip tight on Gon’s shoulders. 

Gon gives Killua a responding squeeze around his middle. “I missed you more.”

“That’s impossible.”

“No, it’s not! I missed you more than I’ve ever missed anyone in my entire life!”

Killua scoffs. “So, what? You think I didn’t miss _you_ more than I’ve missed anyone before, huh?”

“Maybe! But that doesn’t matter because I still missed you more than all that.”

“That’s not—”

“Ah-hem.”

Killua and Gon turn, their arms still wrapped around each other. Zushi and Alluka are standing a few steps away, both wearing expressions with varying degrees of amusement—Zushi, his baby face a familiar shade of red as he stares pointedly at the floor, and Alluka, her eyebrows lifted so high they almost vanish into her bangs. 

“Are you two done yet?” Alluka asks. 

“Not by a long shot,” Gon chirps, squishing Killua in another hug that leaves Killua wheezing. “I got allllll sorts of plans for Killua tonight~”

“Ew, gross!” Alluka sticks out her tongue, but even she can’t keep the grin off her face. 

Heat washes over Killua. It’s embarrassing and mortifying to every degree to have his baby sister call him out like this. But still he doesn’t move a single muscle to pull away from Gon. 

Why would he, when he’s been counting down the seconds until he saw Gon again?

Zushi steps forward, cheeks flushed and his eyes averted. “I know you two have all sorts of plans for the weekend, but whatever you do, don’t stay in public too much. Zepile’s been calling me every twenty minutes to remind me Gon is _supposed_ to be on a flight to Swardani City for an interview right now. No one can know he’s in York New instead.”

“Yeah, well, don’t worry about that.” Killua untangles himself from Gon, slipping his hand into Gon’s before Gon can do more than whine. “I’m supposed to be on a college tour with Alluka, I won’t be hanging out anywhere my family can somehow get pictures of me.”

He narrows his eyes at Zushi and Zushi stiffens. Killua warns, “You’d better take her to that tour, though. York New University is a great school and I think this could be a really good opportunity for her—”

“I don’t need you to speak on my behalf, Brother!” Alluka cuts in, stepping in front of the wide-eyed Zushi and sparing him from Killua’s glare. “I can handle myself! I promise I’ll show up early for the tour and ask all the questions you wrote down for me—just go enjoy the time with your boyfriend.”

Killua’s stomach gives a pleasant sort of twist at the word _‘boyfriend’_. The back of his neck prickles as Gon leans heavily into his side and beams. Gon’s body warmth is solid and comforting, a reminder that this isn’t some desperate dream Killua will soon wake up from.

“Don’t worry, Alluka. I’ll take good care of him,” Gon says with a wink. 

“Ugh, _seriously!_ You two are gonna make me sick.”

Gon snickers. Zushi leans around Alluka to add, “Gon, make sure you’re at my dorm at noon on Sunday. Okay? You can’t miss your train.”

“Sunday at noon. Got it.”

 _Sunday_ , Killua repeats to himself as he looks to Gon. Gon excitedly returns his gaze and Killua almost kisses him again right then and there.

They have until Sunday to be together. It won’t be enough time, not by a long shot, but…

But any time with Gon is precious. It’s a gift, a miracle, a little slice of heaven. Gon’s touring schedule and Killua’s hovering family don’t leave room for more meetings. This weekend is a once in a year kind of opportunity. 

And Killua sure as hell isn't going to waste it. 

**-o0o-**

“How did you get away from your parents?” Gon asks breathlessly as he pulls Killua down the illuminated street. It’s nighttime on a Friday in late December—multi-colored lights are hung in every window, wreaths are hung on every door, crowds in vibrant coats and hats bustle all around them. But Killua doesn’t stop to appreciate the sights. 

Because Gon is with him. And when Gon is here, he takes up Killua’s entire world. 

“I finished my finals and—and Alluka wanted to check out York New University for applications,” Killua shouts over the general chatter. Gon’s hand is warm in his. “I knew Zushi went there, that he could take Alluka on a tour, and I could...do something else in the meantime.”

Gon glances over his shoulder with a crooked grin. “Do something else? Or do _someone_ —”

“G-Gon!” Killua shoves Gon with his free hand. “You know that’s not what I meant!”

Gon laughs. “Sorry, Killua. You’re just too easy to tease.”

“Jeez, you act just like a kid.”

“Maybe, but you’re the one dating this kid!”

“Yeah, well…” Killua shakes his head, fighting the urge to smile. “Whatever. My point is, there was an opportunity to get away from my family. My parents want Alluka to go to a college located as far away as possible from home, but they also didn’t want to be the ones to show her around to different schools. I was the only one willing to help Alluka, so they had no choice but to allow us to visit the university together. And as long as they got proof we were registered for the tour and I wasn’t sneaking off with someone—”

“Someone like your secret boyfriend?”

“—yes, someone like that,” Killua says with a roll of his eyes. “As long as their requirements were met, there was no problem. So I got their approval, reached out to Zushi and...the rest is history.”

He looks to Gon. “What about you? Zushi mentioned an interview. Are you missing something important to be here?”

Gon shrugs, slowing down his step so he and Killua are walking side by side. “Not really. Since my album came out last month, a bunch of radio and news stations want to talk to me. Zepile booked the one this weekend a while back, it’s with a guy named Satotz.”

“It’s with—?!” Killua’s jaw drops. “Wait, wait, wait— _Gon.”_ He pulls Gon to the side of the sidewalk and out of the flow of the crowd. He puts his hands on Gon’s shoulders, searching his freckled face. “Are you telling me that you skipped on an interview with Hunter 99.9, the most popular radio station in the _country,_ just to see me?”

Gon lifts Killua’s hands off his shoulders and tangles their fingers together. “Not _just_ to see you, Killua. To spend time with you? Yes. To kiss you?”

Gon leans forward and presses his lips to Killua’s for a second time. This time the kiss is slow and gentle. Firm, with an underlying whisper of desire. The chattering of the crowd fades and Killua can’t help but kiss Gon back, squeezing his hands tightly.

Gon pulls back and Killua’s eyes flutter. Gon is smiling, freckled cheeks flushed while his brown eyes sparkle. 

“Yeah,” Gon whispers. _“Definitely_ worth skipping an interview for that.”

A breathless, swooping feeling settles in Killua’s chest. He stammers, “D-Don’t be an idiot. I don’t want you ruining your career for me!”

“Who says I’m ruining my career? The moment you told me your plan with Zushi, I reached out to Hunter Station and did a pre-recorded interview. All they have to do is play it on the airwaves.”

“...oh. So, then, you didn’t miss the interview.”

“Nope!” Gon makes a popping noise on the ‘p’ as he begins swinging their arms back and forth. “But I would have, if there weren't any other options.”

“Gon…” 

Killua is flattered. Really, he is. But he also meant what he said about not wanting to ruin Gon’s career. Gon deserves to be successful, happy, praised for all his hard work and talent. Killua couldn’t forgive himself if he somehow stood in the way of all that.

“Ki-llu-a,” Gon parrots back and Killua scrunches his nose. “Don’t get all stressed about nothing. My career is important to me, but _you...”_

Gon releases one of Killua’s hands to cup Killua’s cheek. He searches Killua’s face with a strange intensity, as if he’s staring right into Killua’s soul, and Killua’s heart skips a beat. 

Gon says quietly, “You’re my number one. You mean way more to me than any interview. Okay? If you ever call my name, I’ll come running to you. I promise.”

Killua tries, and fails, to will his heart to stop racing. It’s stupid that his body still reacts like this to Gon. This isn’t the first time Gon has said something mushy and overwhelmingly embarrassing and it most definitely won’t be the last. They’ve been dating for almost a year now and Killua knows that Gon is blunt to his core.

But despite their chemistry, he and Gon had met in a truly underwhelming way. Gon had performed at a charity concert Killua was helping put on at his own college. The sparks that had burst to life between them refused to fade, even after the event was over and their conversations continued through texts and sparse conversations. 

And life had moved on. Killua graduated having received his bachelors for three majors at a record pace before applying for his masters. Gon finally reached the breakthrough he’d been working so hard for—his most recent album sold hundreds of thousands of copies in its first week alone. 

But even after all that, even as their life continued to change and evolve, the connection between Killua and Gon never faded. 

Killua breathes in deep. “Gon.”

Gon smiles, brushing his thumb across Killua’s cheek. “Yeah, Killua?”

“I…” Killua stops as the sound of whispering reaches his ears. He looks past Gon’s shoulder at the other side of the sidewalk, where a small cluster of girls are gathered. They’re taking turns between typing furiously on their phone and glancing at Gon’s back with curious, glittering eyes. 

Killua’s stomach gives a sickening twist. Zushi’s warning echoes in his mind and he tightens his grip on Gon's hand. 

“Let’s go.” 

This time Killua is the one to drag Gon back off down the street. He feels Gon stumble, his nails digging into Killua’s skin, but Gon’s laughing in the next breath. Soon enough the whispering girls are far behind them and Gon has caught up with Killua. He’s still beaming. 

“What?” Killua asks, struggling not to grin like a lovestruck teenager. “What are you so happy about?”

Gon just smiles wider. “I’ve got a place I want to show you. Follow me.”

And so Killua does.

**-o0o-**

“Where did you find this place?” Killua wonders aloud as he looks around.

The dessert shop Gon has brought them to is of an older design, giving the impression of going back in time. There are little stools at a bar table and neat checkerboard tiling covering the floor. Small tables for two decorate the space with couples chatting about holiday plans. 

It’s the kind of place Alluka would gush over with sparkling blue eyes and pink cheeks. Killua makes a mental note to take some pictures before he leaves. If Alluka ends up going to York New University, she could even visit this place on her own. 

“Zushi mentioned it to me earlier when he picked me up from the train station. He thought you might like it.” Gon leans across their own couple’s table, his brown eyes searching Killua’s face for approval. “Do you like it?”

Killua nearly laughs. “Do you even have to ask? Look at this thing you ordered me!”

He gestures at the large bowl between them. Inside are piled scoops of chocolate ice cream, topped with hot fudge and chocolate chips and brownie bites and every other kind of chocolate candy Killua could imagine. Gon had called it the ‘choco-lanche sundae’ when he ordered it for Killua, even going as far as to request a side of chocolate robots for Killua to add at his liking. 

Gon grins. “I’m glad. I was thinking about taking you someplace to eat for dinner but I figured I would let you get dessert first this one time.”

“How generous of you,” Killua says dryly and Gon snickers. “Figures you only let me get this because you haven’t seen me in a while.”

“What can I say? I’m in a good mood right now.”

Killua pops a chocolate robot in his mouth as he studies Gon. He really does seem to be in a good mood—he hasn’t stopped smiling since he and Killua’s reunited and his eyes haven’t drifted from Killua for a single second. He just _stares_. 

Killua swallows, skin tingling pleasantly from the intensity of Gon’s gaze, and gives Gon a sly smile. “Are you really that happy to see me?”

“‘Course.” Gon reaches out and grabs Killua’s free hand. “It’s been a hundred and thirty two days since I’ve seen you. I'm so, _so_ happy to be with you right now, Killua. I could burst!”

“You counted the days?”

To Killua’s delight, Gon’s cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink. “Didn’t you count, too?”

“I—I did,” Killua admits and Gon’s grin returns in full force. “Shut up.”

“Aw, don’t be shy, Killua. I’m glad you missed me.” Gon’s thumb runs over Killua’s knuckles in slow, soothing strokes. “Hopefully the next time we see each other our separation won’t be as long.”

Killua sighs, “I wish it were that simple Gon.”

“It will be! Don’t worry, one day I’ll be powerful enough that you won’t have to work for your family anymore. You’ll stay with me and we will make music together forever and your family won’t hurt you ever again. I promise.”

Killua bites the inside of his cheeks. He knows how seriously Gon takes his promises. But Killua also has vivid memories of his parents and his brother’s promises—how they swore to tear him and Alluka apart if he got the slightest urge to break apart from the Zoldyck brand. Could Gon really become strong enough to fight against the might of Killua’s family?

“You’ll need to sell a lot of albums to make that promise come true,” Killua says after a pause and Gon nods. 

“I will. I have lots of ideas for new songs.”

“Just because you have ideas doesn’t mean they’re good. _Or_ that people will like them.”

“They will. They have to like them. You’re my muse, after all.”

Killua nearly chokes on a piece of brownie. Gon smirks, eyes sparkling, and Killua glares at him through watery eyes. 

“You—You jerk,” he wheezes. “You’re just saying that to mess with me. Don’t get cocky just because you’re still riding off the high of your new album release.”

“I’m not being cocky. I’m just happy—I’m with _you_. That’s all that matters to me right now.”

Killua wrinkles his nose to fight down the hot blush rising to his cheeks. Gon is being extraordinarily sappy tonight. It’s flattering and wonderful in the best of ways, but also mortifying. Gon can’t seem to stop gushing and Killua knows it’s just a matter of time before he bursts out something even more embarrassing than what he just said. 

“Here.” Killua digs into the ice cream to spare himself from answering and scoops out a hefty sample of chocolate-y goodness. “Stop being sappy and help me chip away at this thing.”

“I thought you _liked_ it when I’m sappy with you?”

Killua nearly dies then and there in the middle of the dessert shop. “M-Maybe. But right now, I don’t need your sappy-ness. I need your help to finish this thing off. So?”

Killua waves the spoon pointedly in the air. Gon sighs but opens his mouth. Killua carefully feeds Gon the spoonful before sitting back in his chair, watching Gon as he slowly sucks and chews on the ice cream. Gon's expression twists and Killua bites his tongue to keep himself from laughing. Gon’s face is a comical example of someone who doesn’t like something but is trying very hard to act like they do to impress someone. 

At last, Gon swallows. “Y-Yummy.”

Killua lifts an eyebrow. “Too sweet for you?”

“Just a little…”

“Then you shouldn’t have ordered something so big, dummy. How am I supposed to finish this all by myself, huh?”

“We could the rest take it back to our hotel room, if you want?”

That stops Killua short. Our hotel room, Gon had said. _Our_. “What are you talking about? Alluka and I didn’t book a room with you.”

“Yeah, well…” Gon scratches his slowly darkening cheek with his free hand. “I was thinking Alluka could stay in that one by herself and we could share my room instead.”

“Are you really suggesting I leave my baby sister all alone? What if she doesn’t wake up in time for her alarm and she misses the tour!”

“She’s not a baby, Killua,” Gon says reasonably and Killua scowls. “She’s an adult and she can set her own alarm. Besides, Zushi is bringing her to the tour, right? He can wake her if she’s not ready yet.”

Killua purses his lips. It’s not that Gon is wrong per se but….Alluka _is_ his little sister, even if she isn’t a child. Killua’s been looking after her his whole life. He would prefer not to abandon her now when she might be touring her future university.

Gon leans across the table, a sly smile spreading across his lips. “C’mon, Ki-llu-a. Would you really abandon me after we just met up? Think of how much fun we could have in my room. I _guarantee_ it’s bigger than yours.”

Killua can’t stop himself from picturing him with Gon alone in Gon’s hotel room. Snuggling on Gon’s couch, curling around each other on Gon’s bed, falling asleep together while watching some mindless show on the TV…

“You’re smiling, Killua.”

“Shut up.” Killua pushes Gon back, cheeks burning. “Don’t tease me like that.”

“Why not? I think you sort of like it—”

“Besides!” Killua says loudly, determined to drown Gon out before he can say anything else. “We’re not going back to the hotel after this.”

Gon’s smile falters. “What? Why not?”

“Because.” Killua aggressively stabs the ice cream with his spoon. Gon might not like the sweetness but Killua thought it was ten out of ten, the perfect ice cream sundae. He’d have to eat as much of it as he could before they left. “There’s someplace _I_ want to show _you_ next.”

Gon’s eyebrows lift. “Really? Where is it?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Oh, a _surprise.”_ Excitement lights up Gon’s face. “You don’t have to keep me in suspense, Killua. Can’t you just tell me now? I’m really curious!”

“What’s the fun of a relationship without a little suspense every now and then?” Killua counters. “I gotta keep you interested in me somehow.”

Gon cups his hand in his cheek. He’s smiling softly at Killua again, warm brown eyes crinkling into crescents. “You don’t need to come up with surprises for that, Killua. You captivate me all by yourself.”

Killua’s heart shudders at the soft tone of Gon’s voice. His face burns. Quickly, Killua shoves the spoon of ice cream into his mouth to spare himself from responding. 

Gon, predictably, laughs.

**-o0o-**

“Killua!” Gon calls from behind him. His voice is breathless, giddy. The sound of Gon’s happiness fills Killua’s chest with a pulsing warmth. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see!” Killua doesn’t turn around, just keeps a tight hold on Gon’s hand as he continues to lead Gon forward. “We’re almost there, I promise. It should just be around this corner.”

“If we’re that close, then we should race there.”

Killua scoffs. “You _know_ you can’t beat me.”

“Wanna bet?”

Gon’s hand is pulled out of his grasp and a green blur passes Killua by. Killua sputters, momentarily surprised. Then he curses and sprints after him.

Gon is faster than a normal person his age and size. He’s often boosted to Killua how often he’s outrun paparazzi just by counting on his own stamina. But while Gon’s had practice running away from stalkers with cameras for the past year, _Killua_ has had practice running from his family his entire life. And not even Gon with all his stamina can beat Killua once he gets in stride.

And so Killua catches up to Gon just as they reach the boardwalk.

“Ha! I won!” Gon throws his arms up in the air and lets out a whoop. The few people walking past startle and glare at them. Killua hits Gon’s arm as he tries catching his breath.

“Y-You—You did not win,” Killua gasps. “I caught up to you. You didn’t...didn’t beat _shit.”_

Gon makes a clicking sound with his tongue. “Now, Killua, don’t get mad just because you lost.” 

“I didn’t lose, though! You _cheated!_ You started without warning me.”

“How can I cheat if there were no rules to begin with?”

“You—” Killua grabs Gon’s freckled cheeks and _pulls,_ “—little asshole. If there were no rules to begin with, then there was no contest. You can’t have a game without letting the players know what’s allowed and what’s not!”

“Ow, ow, ow—Kiwuuah! Dat hur’s!”

Killua scoffs but lets go. Gon winces, rubbing his face, and Killua grumbles, “You’re lucky you’re cute enough to get away with the shit you pull. Seriously, how has Zepile not lost all his hair by now?”

“Heh.” Gon smirks. “What are you trying to say? Would you not date me if I wasn’t cute? You’re mean, Killua.”

“I’m dating you because you’re _you_. Got it? The fact that you’re cute is just a perk.”

Killua is rewarded with the sight of Gon’s flush. Delight rushes through him, followed by a surge of smug satisfaction. Good. Gon _should_ be a little embarrassed sometimes. He clearly has no issue blurting out sappy stuff to Killua, why shouldn’t Killua be able to return the favor? 

Besides, it makes Killua happy to see Gon react to his words like this. Gon is normally so unflappable and blunt. It’s touching for Killua to know that he is still the one person who affects Gon.

“Anyway.” Killua gestures at the view beyond the boardwalk. “We’re here.”

Gon frowns, following Killua’s arm movement. “Where is... _oh.”_

Killua smiles as Gon’s jaw drops and his eyes go wide. Killua had witnessed a similar reaction with Alluka when they’d accidentally stumbled across this place earlier while looking for the subway. The boardwalk is long and winding, with iron railings lining the wooden planks and separating the land from the water. And across the river stands the tall and glittering skyscrapers of York New City. The towering buildings shine brightly, glimmering against the darkness of the night sky.

“Oh, wow. Killua!” Gon rushes towards the railing, grabbing the iron and leaning forward as far as he can. “It’s beautiful!”

“Isn’t it?” Killua joins Gon at the railing before looping one arm around Gon’s. A light breeze rolls off the water and Killua leans closer to Gon for warmth. “Alluka was pretty impressed with the sight too, though she saw it during the day.”

“Zushi showed me the skyline during the day, too, when I first arrived. But we were at a different spot so the view wasn’t this good. And the _lights!”_ Gon looks to Killua with wonder-filled eyes. “They’re like stars!”

Killua can’t help but smile back. Gon’s grin is infectious, charming, wonderful. “I don’t think they’re _that_ pretty. But I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it.” Gon sighs and rests his head against Killua’s shoulder. He holds onto Killua’s arm tightly. “It’s so beautiful. Cities always look so nice at night, I love exploring them once it gets dark.”

“You’ve been to a lot of cities by now,” Killua says and Gon hums his agreement. “You’ll probably see even prettier views than this when you go on tour around the country.”

“...nah. I don’t think so.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because right now you’re here with me,” Gon says simply. “Even if I see hundreds of other cities they won’t ever be this nice, because you won't be with me to share the experience. And that makes all the difference.”

Killua’s throat tightens. Heat washes over him and his neck prickles. For a moment he is overwhelmed, unable to speak. 

So instead of blurting out something embarrassing he’ll surely regret later, Killua rests his head against Gon’s and breathes in deep. He breathes in the salt from the ocean, breathes in the pine shampoo off Gon’s hair. He tries to memorize every little detail of this moment, from the cool breeze hitting his skin to the warmth of Gon’s body pressing against his own. He never wants to forget this brief moment of stolen happiness, not as long as he lives.

“...I have something for you,” Gon murmurs after a long pause.

Killua cracks an eye open. “You do?”

“Mhm. I won’t see you again for the holidays, so I wanted to give you something now while I was with you.”

“You mean the giant chocolate sundae wasn’t a gift?” Killua jokes and Gon laughs.

“Not even close. That was just the appetizer, Killua.”

“Oh, yeah? Then show me what you got, island boy.”

Gon tugs Killua over to a bench on the other side of the boardwalk. They sit down and Killua watches curiously as Gon pulls out his phone and headphones. 

“Here,” Gon hands a headphone to Killua. “Put this in your ear.”

“What, are you going to show me a video or something? I swear, if it’s another fishing thing—”

“Ki-llu-a!” Gon whines. “You said you liked my fishing videos!”

“I do,” Killua says as he tries and fails not to smile. “It’s just that after seeing fifty TikToks of you catching zilch it gets kind of—”

“It’s _not_ a fishing video. Okay? This is a present, so you just have to listen.”

Killua sighs but obediently puts the headphone in his ear. The word ‘present’ can have lots of different meanings in Gon’s language so he can’t help but be skeptical. Sure, Gon always means well, but how could Gon’s present be on his _phone?_

Gon scoots closer to Killua so their arms press together. Killua leans into Gon’s side as he holds the phone up between them. Gon taps the screen once and suddenly Killua’s own face is looking back at them. 

Killua blinks. “What—?”

“Shh!”

 _“Hey, Gon,”_ the Killua on screen says with a yawn. There are dark shadows under his eyes and a familiar chocolate robots t-shirt hands off one shoulder. Killua winces. He must have been exhausted to have sent this to Gon of all people without caring about his appearance. 

_“I know I look like a mess,”_ the previous Killua continues, as if hearing his thoughts. _“Sorry about that. But I came up with this idea in the middle of the night and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I just finished it, actually. My parents are going to murder me when they find out I worked all night on composed this instead of studying…”_

Killua glances from the screen to Gon. Gon is gazing at the Killua on screen with poorly concealed adoration—his eyes are crinkled at the edges and his freckled cheeks are painted a rosy tinge. The sight makes Killua’s breath stick in his throat. Is that really how Gon looks at him? But, why? Killua looks like a complete _mess_ here.

The Killua on screen sighs and Killua’s attention is drawn back to Gon’s phone. _“Anyway. It’s kind of rough but I thought maybe you could do something with it? So, yeah. Here it goes.”_

The camera tilts as Killua brings the phone over to a piano in the corner of his bedroom. A tingling sense of familiarity stirs in Killua and he frowns. Wait. Had this been the time he almost failed his finance final because he didn’t get any sleep the night before? His parents had been livid after they’d seen his grade, forbidding him to leave the house for the following two months. 

But it had been worth it. Because Killua had sent Gon this memo recording. And Gon…

What had Gon done with it?

“Gon,” Killua says slowly and Gon shushes him. 

“Not now, it’s almost starting!”

“ _What’s_ starting?”

“You’ll see!”

Killua shuts his mouth. He watches himself lean the phone against the music rack so the keyboard is in full display, hears the chords as his fingers press against perfectly cut white and black rectangles, feels a sense of nostalgia as a familiar tune fills his ear. 

Right. This song—he’d written it for Gon. Because as much as Killua is Gon’s muse, Gon is Killua’s, too. 

Gon pulls down the collar of coat. Killua looks at him, confused. Gon is watching the screen expectantly as if waiting for something. But what could he be waiting for? A cue of some sort?

It hits Killua just as Gon opens his mouth. 

“Gon— _no.”_

Killua slaps a hand over Gon’s mouth and Gon makes a startled sound. 

_“Mph!_ Keewuh—wuh—?”

Killua hisses, “Idiot, what are you thinking? You can’t sing in public! What if someone hears you?”

Gon pries Killua’s hand off his face with a glare. “No one will hear me, the nearest person is twenty feet away! Besides, I don’t care about that. This is for you—for _us._ No one else matters.”

Killua’s heart flips in his chest. “But if someone recognizes you—”

“No one else matters,” Gon repeats stubbornly. “I’m not doing this for anyone but you. I’m not singing to a crowd or in a studio for a fancy recording, I’m singing a song I wrote for my boyfriend because it’s the holidays and I care about him! What’s wrong with that?”

“There’s nothing _wrong_ with it.”

“Then let me sing to you, Killua. Please. You’re the one who wrote the instrumentals, don’t you want to hear the final version?”

Killua hesitates. It’s risky to let Gon sing. They could be swarmed by crazed fans in ten minutes, tops. But…

But Killua can hardly say no with Gon giving him those puppy dog eyes. 

Killua sighs, shoulders deflating. “Okay. Fine,” he relents and Gon lights up. “But just this one song, got it?”

Gon grins. “Sure, Killua. Just this one—for now.”

“What do you mean _for now—?”_

“Shhh, Killua. I’m rewinding the tape, you have to be quiet. I don’t want to mess up.”

Killua clenches his hands into fists to keep himself from protesting. He knows Gon and Gon won’t shut up until he gets what he wants. It’s best if Killua just does as he’s told.

So Killua stays silent as Gon rewinds the tape. He once more watches himself set up the camera, sees his long and thin fingers place themselves gently on the keys. The same melody fills Killua’s ears, the same song that had plagued him so many nights ago...

And then there’s Gon, who breathes in deep just as the first chorus ends. Killua lifts his eyes from the screen to his boyfriend as Gon starts to sing quietly under his breath. He doesn’t even try to watch the screen any more. 

Because when Gon sings, Killua can’t help but stare. 

Gon’s voice has always been beautiful. The sound captivated Killua the first night they met—his voice is full and deep, gentle but powerful. Gon can belt out power ballads and croon love promises in the same song. His voice can be both comforting and captivating, and it always pulls Killua in without him realizing it. 

And this time is no different. Gon sings, eyes closed while his mouth moves to form soft declarations. The lyrics are simple, yes, but that doesn’t make them any less meaningful. Love isn’t stored in words, but in the motive and feeling behind them. 

As Gon sings, Killua’s can feel his love surrounding him, enveloping him. Like a warm blanket on a snow night or a reassuring hug when the world is weighing down on his shoulders. Gon’s feelings for him shine as brightly on this dark night as the sun. 

Because that’s what Gon is to Killua—he’s light and happiness and freedom. He is the moments in between stress and pressures from his family, the moments where Killua feels like he’s really living. And Killua wants nothing more than to bask in his light forever. 

After one last, drawn out note, Gon’s voice fades away. Brown eyes open and Killua gazes back, his own eyes stinging. For a moment, neither of them speak—Gon, waiting for Killua’s response, and Killua, unable to form a single sentence. 

“Um...Killua?” Gon says hesitantly after a long pause. “Do you like it? It’s okay if you don’t! I knew it was a long shot anyway, you don’t like people messing with your songs, but I thought it might be nice to do a—a collab together? And I, um—”

“Gon,” Killua says, voice rough, and Gon stops short. “Shut up.”

“Wha—?”

Killua cups Gon’s cheeks, pulls him close, and kisses him full on the mouth. 

He doesn’t see Gon’s reaction. He doesn’t spare a moment to open his eyes and check. He just focuses on _Gon_ —his mouth, soft and gentle—Gon’s cheeks, round and warming under his palms—Gon’s sigh as he angles his head and kisses Killua back. Fingers snake through Killua’s hair and an arm wraps around his waist, pulling Killua flush against Gon. 

Again, the desire rises within Killua to memorize every detail of this moment, just like he had minutes ago while staring at the glittering city of York New with Gon. Because this moment, this _night_ , is important. Because Gon had made a song for him, had sung it for him, and Killua…

And Killua loves him for it. 

Gon’s eyes are dazed when Killua pulls back. They glitter with the reflection of York New’s lights as Gon’s lips part. He whispers, “What was that for?”

“I love you,” Killua blurts out and suddenly Gon’s eyes are wide and alert. He sucks in a breath, freckled cheeks turning red while his mouth falls open. 

Heat washes over Killua and he freezes. Shit. He hadn’t meant to confess like that in the middle of nowhere—neither of them had said those three little words yet. Killua had wanted to do it right, to plan a set up with flowers or a romantic dinner or _something_. Anything would have been better than this! To have blurted it out in the heat of the moment is—

“You...love me?” Gon gasps and a gleeful light enters his eyes. “Hey— _Killua._ You love me? Really?”

“I—” Killua’s blush is burning the skin off his cheeks, “—w-what do you think, stupid? Why wouldn’t I love you?”

He squishes Gon’s cheeks together until Gon’s lips pucker like a fish. Gon giggles, beaming even as his face undergoes Killua’s torture. He looks happy enough to burst and Killua’s frustration with himself subsides. Gon doesn’t seem to mind that he said those words out of nowhere...

“I’m guessing that means you liked the song, huh?” Gon asks giddily.

Killua snorts and lets go. “I don’t like the song—I love it. I really, _really_ love it. Okay? It’s beautiful, Gon.”

Gon’s eyes shine. “I’m relieved. I was worried you were going to hate me for it.”

“Okay, one, I could never hate you. Two, how could you even think that? You made my song _better_ than it was originally. You added your own flare to it and made it ours, Gon. And that’s amazing.”

Gon throws his arms around Killua’s shoulders. Killua makes a surprise noise in the back of his throat as Gon crushes him in a bone-breaking hug. 

“I’m so glad,” Gon murmurs into Killua’s ear and Killua fights down the urge to shiver. “I’m so, so glad, Killua. I’m going to make our song a number one hit, just you wait.”

That makes Killua laugh. He returns Gon’s embrace, squeezing Gon’s middle tightly. “Don’t get cocky just because your album is critically acclaimed.”

“I’m not!” Gon pulls back a little before cupping Killua’s face in his palms. “It’s just like you said. It’s just like you said. This song is amazing, Killua. And I want everyone around the world to see how amazing we are together.”

“Jeez.” Killua shakes his head, trying to fight down the blush rising to his face. “You are so embarrassing. How can you say stuff like that without imploding?”

“Easy! I just don’t care what anyone thinks.” Gon leans in close and Killua stops breathing. “Well, anyone except for _you_ , of course.”

He kisses Killua again and Killua melts. He falls into Gon, eyes fluttering shut as he angles his head. Gon is warm. He tastes faintly of chocolate from the ice cream store. His hair is rough under Killua’s fingers. All these details—they’re little things that had faded in Killua’s memory as the days between their last reunion stretched on. They are the things Killua craved during their separation. Because as much as Killua loves talking to Gon and seeing him through the video chat, nothing can quite make up the difference of having Gon right here in his arms. 

And when the two of them are face to face? Killua becomes helpless to Gon in every way.

Killua smiles against Gon’s lips. “By the way, I have—” _kiss_ , “—something for you—” _kiss_ , “—too.”

Gon hums in question but didn’t stop kissing him. Killua is tempted to let Gon continue without interruption—Gon’s thumb is stroking his face and leaving a trail of fire in its wake—

But, no. Gon had just given him a beautiful gift. A wonderful memory. And even if Killua’s gift isn’t nearly as personal or incredible, Gon still deserves a present in return. 

So Killua untangles himself from Gon with some struggle. Gon whines, trying to pull Killua back by cupping the back of his head. 

“Killua—”

“G-Gon!” Killua laughs and pushes Gon back. “Let go! Don’t you want to see your present?”

“I do...but I also wanna keep kissing you.”

Killua rolls his eyes. “Okay, well, if I give you the present now, we can go back to kissing. Sounds fair?”

“Yeah!”

“Okay, great.”

Gon finally releases Killua and Killua looks down to dig through his pocket. Gon leans to the side eagerly as he tries to catch a glimpse of his present. Killua quickly shoves him back.

“Don’t fall over, stupid.”

Gon giggles. “Sorry, Killua. I’m just curious! You never mentioned getting a gift for me.”

“So? You never told me that you were writing me a song, either.”

“That’s because it was a surprise!”

“So is this.” Killua turns around, having finally untangled the present out of his pocket. “Here. Happy holidays, Gon.”

He places the carefully wrapped box into Gon’s palm. While Gon curiously peers at the tiny gift, Killua leans forward and plants a kiss on Gon’s chilled cheek.

Gon looks up, his face darkening. “Ki-Killua!”

“What?” Killua’s grinning now. He can’t help but laugh at Gon’s rare show of embarrassment. “Go on, open your present.”

Gon sticks out his tongue. “Meanie...” He slowly turns the present around, looking for the little folds of wrapping paper around the corners. “I feel bad now. I didn’t wrap my present for you.”

“How could you have? You can’t put a bow on a song.”

“Maybe not. But I _could_ have put a bow on me instead.”

“No, Gon,” Killua quickly cuts him off. But it’s too late—an image has already formed in his brain, one of Gon laying sideways in Killua’s dorm room bed with a bright red bow sitting atop his spikes of hair. Killua immediately stomps down the idea because, nope, he is _not_ entertaining that fantasy right now! “Just—no.”

Gon glances at Killua through his eyelashes, a smirk on his lips. “Heh. Would that be too embarrassing for you?”

“Way too embarrassing.”

Gon snickers and finally starts to tear the present open. “Got it. I’ll just keep that mind for next year, then.”

“Don’t you dare—”

“Oh, Killua!”

Gon gasps and Killua’s protest fades away. His heart pounds in his chest as Gon lays the box’s cover to the side and pulls out a silver and gold guitar pick. Gon holds it up, mouth open and eyes wide. 

“Killua…”

Killua tries not to squirm. If it wasn’t so cold, his palms would be sweating. “Uh. Yes?”

Gon looks at him with glittering eyes. “Killua, this is _beautiful_. How did you find this?”

“I didn’t. I made it. Look—” Killua scoots closer on the bench to Gon, gently angling his hand so the street lights land on the guitar pick’s surface, “—I got our names engraved on it. See? And the day we met.”

“January seventh,” Gon reads aloud as a smile spreads across his face. He looks to Killua but doesn’t say anything else. He just stares at Killua without a word. 

Killua smiles back awkwardly. “Y-Yeah. I thought....you know, you have hundreds of these things so why not get you one that’s of higher quality? That way, uh, maybe when you use this you’ll think of me. It’ll be like I’m helping you make your music. And hopefully one day it won’t just be a dream. One day I’ll really be there with you, the both of us making music together.”

Killua shuts his mouth. He knows he’s rambling, can feel the horrible mortification creeping up the back of his neck like a spider. And still Gon keeps gazing at him with those big brown eyes of his.

Killua clears his throat. Did he talk too much? “So. Uh...do you like it?”

Gon’s smile widens. He cups Killua’s face with his free hand and presses a gentle kiss to his lips. “I _love_ it, Killua,” Gon says as he pulls back, looking down at the guitar pick. “I’ll use it every time I perform.”

Killua’s heart swells as he watches Gon rub his thumb over their names on the inscription. “Really?”

“Mhm. For all the reasons you said and more.”

“And, more?” Killua isn’t following. “What more could there be?”

“More could be…” Gon takes Killua’s hand and presses a kiss to Killua’s knuckles. “That I love you, too, Killua. I love you _so much_. And if it wasn’t for your family, I would steal you away to come on tour with me right now.”

Joy bursts out of Killua’s heart like a firework. He’s elated, chest so full and light he could fly. “Don’t joke about stuff like that, Gon.”

“Who said I was joking?”

“My family would kill you. Seriously.”

“I don’t care. Let them try!” Gon presses his forehead to Killua’s, staring deep into his eyes. _“I love you,_ Killua. Dead or alive. And nothing is ever going to change that.”

Killua wrinkles his nose as he tries to fight the wave of heat rising in his cheeks. He struggles to come up with what to say next, of how to respond to something so blunt but at the same time so clearly genuine and earnest. 

Because the truth is that Killua would love nothing more than to drop everything and leave town with Gon. Traveling the world together, making music, basking in each other’s presence and feeding off each other’s muse until the end of time...it all sounds too good to be true.

But it isn’t. One day, that dream would come true. Because Gon has promised Killua that it would, and Killua trusts Gon’s promises and his dreams and hopes and every little thing in between.

“You say the most embarrassing things,” is all Killua says with a shake of his head and Gon laughs quietly.

“You love me though,” he says teasingly, squeezing his hand, and Killua smiles.

“I do. I really, really do."

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as part of a KilluGonHolidayPresent/HxHHoliday2020 event that I was so kindly invited to participate in! The prompt for the event was ‘a present’ ^-^ I haven’t been involved in any fandom event in years but this was a lot of fun and I’m really honored that I was asked to join in. I wanted to write this story as a gift to my fandom friends who I’ve been watching movies with every week for the past year, they have given me something to look forward to during quarantine and really are just the best people imaginable <3
> 
> This fic is technically an au of another au of mine? The original au is very similar to this one - Gon is an upcoming musician and he and Killua meet on his tour. Of course in this au, Gon and Killua meet just before Gon starts to become famous. But I like this version of the au too! Hopefully one day I’ll be able to post the original au and readers can read both versions side by side~
> 
> Title of the fic comes from the song [‘Location’](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Bl3YuHpYJ4) but the cover version with AJR (and no, this is not the song Gon sings to Killua lol). Also just wanted to say a big thank you to my friend Quintessence for beta’ing, she was very kind to help me out on such short notice!
> 
> [[my tumblr]](https://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/)   
>  [{my twitter}](https://twitter.com/decembercamie)


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